dating

Hello out there! I just happened upon this message board, but oddly enough it looks like a good place to post a question. A few weeks back I met a dancer at a club and we hit it off wonderfully. A very smart bright beautiful girl that I really wouldnt mind getting to know better. My ex was a dancer, but I'm really not sure of the ettiquete on how to ask this girl out. Especially since we met at a club. Any ideas?? :-/

[Tre]

That's opening quite a large can of worms with that question.

I won't offer you any "ideas"; simply comments:

It's a good thing that you hit it off wonderfully at the club. More-so for her I would think.

Saying your ex was a dancer doesn't necessarily give you any 'advantage' in future relationships with other dancers.

That's akin to stating your ex was a woman. ;)

[katlynel]

My main thought is to let it go. Just let it go. Go back to see her a couple more times. And if SHE suggests dating, then follow her lead.

But more likely, she was just doing her job. As a dancer, it is her job to make any guy -- no matter how old, repulsive, slimy, overweight, or stupid -- think that she and he "hit it off wonderfully." Do you have any idea how many times she probably gets asked out a night? Do you have any idea how much every one of them assumes he is the "exception" that she should date? Do you have any idea what a jackass every one of those guys comes off as?

Besides which, many clubs have policies against getting involved with customers. You don't want to get her fired, or even give her the suggestion that you want her to risk losing her job for you. No guy is that much of a prize.

I realize what you mean. And to answer the last group of questions, that's exactly why I asked this to begin with. I wouldnt want to get her fired or anything. Hence the reason why I mentioned I dated a dancer before. My ex offered advice, I was just trying to get an overall concensus.

[Chuck149]

ÂAs a dancer, it is her job to make any guy -- no matter how old, repulsive, slimy, overweight, or stupid -- think that she and he "hit it off wonderfully."

You mean my ATF doesn't love me :'( How shocking. Here all this time I thought I was special. She's doing a wonderful job, isn't she ;D That's why I love her ;)

[whispers]

Hello out there! ÂI just happened upon this message board, but oddly enough it looks like a good place to post a question. ÂA few weeks back I met a dancer at a club and we hit it off wonderfully. ÂA very smart bright beautiful girl that I really wouldnt mind getting to know better. ÂMy ex was a dancer, but I'm really not sure of the ettiquete on how to ask this girl out. ÂEspecially since we met at a club. ÂAny ideas?? :-/

You might consider trying to find out what her boyfriend will think of the idea ;) Most of these ladies are typically involved. If your "ex" was a dancer you know that.

Eitiquette is no different than with any other lady. Be respectful and ask her out. If she says no accept it. If she says anything other than YES take it as a NO and accept that she doesn't want to let you down.

Dating a lady in this business is not for the weak of heart or any guy not financially and emotionally secure. Can you deal with her spending 8-10 hours naked with other men and not let it affect you? Most that think they can usually can not. I assure you it's tough.

[AutumnSexyBottom]

If you got a dance from her chances are it will never fly, but.........if you were talking like you were just getting to know each other..well? I''ve primarly dated men I met at work, I mean most I worked with but customers aren't always customers that are there for dances.
Sometimes guys would rather go to a strip club after work for a beer so there is no hassle of pick up lines or guilt of drinking alone (I don't know I'm not a psychiatrist, it's just my assumption) But there has been some pretty solid guys that I've met through my work I would not have met any other way.

Just remember...it can't hurt to ask.

CIAO

[Chuck149]

Hey Mario your new to this board. Take some time and read the posts. It won't take you long to find out that these ladies are "good" at their jobs. That's providing fantasies. Your right, it's easy to "fall" for these ladies but the percentages are low that will "fall" for you.
My advice is don't go strip clubs for a date, it doesn't work. :)

[jasmine]

As a rule I will not date anyone who goes to strip clubs. Especially the club which I am working. Think about it, most establishments have rules about inter-office dating for a reason. It can cause serious problems.

So here is my long boring story. When I first started a very attractive guy about my age always came in the club with his boss. He wouldn't sit at the stage or buy dances he would just hand his money over to the girls who ask for dances (his boss gave him about $500 a night).

One night he started a conversation with me (he never did this). Eventually he was buying dances from me so we could be alone. I didn't dance we just went to the private room to talk.

This is the only guy I EVER even CONSIDERED going out with outside of work! He never got drunk, or got into the strip club scene. Are you getting the picture?

While at work, if you are a regular of mine you can bet I actually enjoy your company. If not, I wouldn't be able to deal with you on a nightly basis. However, that doesn't mean I will date you. To painful. Did you notice I didn't finish the end of that story. Well I don't like stories without happy endings.

I dodn't mean to sound harsh here, just realistic. Most girls have had at least one bad experience falling for a guy at work. If she is a newbie though you might stand a chance, just be good to her, the job is hard enough without personal problems.

Jasmine

[OPEN]

Although I have never dated a girl who I got to know well at a club, I sure have a few I would have,,,, LOL but my recent experience might give u some more insight as to what these girls are telling you. I just went out to Minneapolis for some buisness, and we went out to a very nice club there, and I ended up meeting this very beautiful girl there. We went into the individual room for two one hour sessions, and some of the time we were just talking and I was stroking her hair,,, etc. we really did hit it off well, and actually were kissing more than anything ,,, felt like a date. Well with all this and with all the things she was telling me like" I cant believe u came in here ,,, how awesome I was ,,,etc. I was reluctant to believe it but somewhat believing that she really wanted me more than just in the club. Esp after she wanted me to give her my email and cell number.
But now that it has been two weeks and I hve not heard from her at all,,, I am now assuming that she was just the best at her job that I had ever seen. I do not regret a moment of it, I think about her still and I feel that prob she might have liked me at least a little bit more than most,,,and I am happy with that thought.
But most importantly,,, it hasnt left a bad taste at all and I still do LOVE all u cute dancers,,,,

[SuperDude]

Dancer asked for my business card. I told her that she didn't need to use that ploy, I liked her and would buy dances anyway. She says she wants the card, because she really wants to see me. I looked her straight in the eye and told her that she was beautiful, sensual, intelligent and unavailable. She said she was starting with a new modeling agency and wanted someone to hang out with to get rid of the stresses of the day. I found her e-mail and web site on her modeling poster next to the club's coat check. Sent e-mail. Her husband replies wanting to know who I am. The end. Don't even think about dating a dancer.

[sol_de_pr2]

I found her e-mail and web site on her modeling poster next to the club's coat check. ÂSent e-mail. ÂHer husband replies wanting to know who I am. ÂThe end. ÂDon't even think about dating a dancer. Well, at least make sure she has ended her serious relationship before trying, don't take her word for it.

[Traveler]

Hi everyone, new here! All the postings on this topic pretty much make sense to me. It's true about not coming on strong. If you're a man who’s comfortable and conversational and clean but not pushy, it gets you further (in friendship dept.) than if you're groping and suggestive and disrespectful. Humor helps, too! I have had dancers suggest that we see each other outside the club, and some I have seen and others not. And some I have seen just as friends with no other expectations, which has been very cool. We guys sometimes forget that dancers are people too.

Equal with treating dancers with respect is HONESTY. I find that honesty is the biggest factor in breaking down the walls between dancer and customer. It's nutty, because I am married, currently getting a divorce, but still wear my ring, and many dancers have said that my being honest about it puts them at ease. The dancers I am friends with outside the clubs say this. They also say they appreciate the fact that I am honest with my wife during this whole process about who I date, etc.

For instance, one of my favorite people and a really fun person in general is a dancer I met in Dec. at a Chicago club. We hit it off well the first night. Generally she does not dance during the semester while she's in school, and the few times she does go in it's just to get a little (or a lot) of cash for the month. We see each other frequently (outside club), and it's a natural, intimate relationship (and there are no expectations that I buy things for her all the time or give her money, etc.).

Wowza! Nuff said. I just had to add in my 2 cents because I have only been going to strip clubs since we began the divorce/marriage breakup thing (in December) and I am amazed in the short period of time at the number of great dancers I have met, and the number of relationships of all types that we’ve had beyond the club doors. I consider myself really fortunate, because I don’t see it happening with other guys at all. Is that right? Or am I delusional? (Probably delusional anyway!)

And you people on this board are cool--I enjoy reading your postings!

Ciao.