Stupid Customer Comments

[CallMeSky]

...is there a thread for this already?

Customer: Are you married? If you are, that's ok, I am too. My wife told me not to wear my ring to the titty bar becouse the strippers would try and steal it.

oooookay dude.

[Djoser]

'Hey, you know all these girls--which ones will give me some action after work?"

[LuckiCharm]

Customer "What if I want to get off in VIP?"
Me "That's your problem"
Customer "Well, that's ok...that just means you are afraid of me. Most younger girls are intimidated by older men."

Uhh no buddy...all of us 'younger women' are here to hustle your ass.

[alisha101]

i had some guy yesterday tell me that anything goes in florida VIP rooms and that canada's the hub of dancing and all the new girls start there.

i don't know about canada but i've heard florida's stricter than nevada.

i started to suspect that guy was a cop so i got up and left and than 15 min later some girl told me that he is.

[Djoser]

Depends where in Florida, lol--my last club was basically a whorehouse with a stage, and a sizable percentage of dancers trying to resist doing what everyone else was doing 3 feet away from them in VIP. It was hard on those women, trust me!

It was a real relief to discover that they don't even allow grinding in VIP at my new club, and only light stuff in the Champagne Room. But a couple hours away in Miami it is generally pretty high contact, and a lot of clubs have a lot of extras going on.

But I'm glad your instincts protected you in this case.

[sxybrat07]

customer: why do you waste your time here? you need to go to vegas and make REAL money
me: I dunno, I make good money here, and I don't have to pay for gas, or hotels, or stage fees, and besides, it's summer, it's slow there.
customer: Well, you're just a bitch that isn't cut out for this business then.
me: o.O

[alisha101]

^^^you should've had him give you and $2000 and then told him the nearest intersection to pick up a hooker.

[carolina6]

I had a guy say yesterday, "You smell really expensive. I don't care what you say, you smell like your perfume cost a lot of money." I just smiled and laughed and said, ok. I wear tahitian orchid body spray made by Calgon which costs about 8 dollars I think, lol.

Guys tell me to go to vegas all the time, how awesome it is, how you make so much money, etc. Quit concerning yourself with how much money I could make and concentrate on how much money I will make, tonight, now give me your money and shut your pie hole.

[hearts]

"Your left areola is slightly larger than your right. It's not a problem though."
Uh, no dude, it certainly isn't. wtf?

[jaizaine]

Douchebag custie: "You are far to articulate, intellligent and beautiful to be working here"
Me: ah huh *rolls eyes*
Douchebag custie: "So how much to have u for the night?"

Oh boy!!

[dancinslifoxxx17]

Custie:I've been trying to get your attention!

[dancinslifoxxx17]

Sorry bout that!
Continued from above
Me:U have?
Custy:Yea, so and so gave me a 100$ to spend on u tonight.
Me:Well, maybe next ime!
Thinking:If you'd really wanted to take me in the beke yiu woul've! Grrrr..
I've had an o.k. night; until, u had to rub it it ass.(I could've made an extra 100$!)

[dancinslifoxxx17]

WTF?!My ccomp is having mallfunctions! Even more bitchy now. Grr..

[billyblue79]

Custy, "I have $7000 in my pocket and another $10,000 in my room all you have to do to get it is meet me at the HOTEL 6."

Me, " You have $17,000 in cash and your staying at the Hotel 6? Uhmmm no thanks.

[Lena]

"I spent seven years in federal prison for murder dreaming about you. Really, it was you. My friend is an artist and I told him what you looked like and he drew a picture and you're even wearing that same outfit in the picture. I had it over my bed in jail and I dreamed about you every night for seven years. I dreamed I stuck my tongue up your ass so far it was like you were being ass fucked. You know I've checked out this room and I think there's only one other man in here who's ever killed a person."

Me: Seven years, huh? I think that rates a VIP room.

[kryssy]

Guy: Are those real? (as he's pointing to my boobs)
Me: Yea, real expensive. Why ya buying the next set?

[Andygirl]

Originally Posted by sxybrat07

customer: why do you waste your time here? you need to go to vegas and make REAL money

I get this all of the time. Guys refuse to believe that Vegas isn't the stripping mecca they think it is. And of course, they never take into consideration anything other than the fact that you dance. Nevermind that my home and family are here, I'm gonna run off to Vegas because douchebag told me that's where all the real strippers are!

Crazy drunk guy comes up to the stage, I walk over to him and he sticks his tongue out, pervo style. I said, "You can't lick me," then he pulled out $20 and handed it to me. Then he did it again and I said, "You can't lick any of the dancers," and he threw down a five. After that he got irrationally angry and said, "If you ever want to know how to be a REAL woman, come see me," I said, "Yeah, I'll be sure to do that."

It was humorous.

Custie: "I travel all the time..I love to travel. I spent a whole summer once in Minks"
Me: " I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you didnt spend 3 months in your grandmothers fur coat....and you mean MINSK...in Russia"
Custie: "oh..ummm...yeah..thats what I meant"
Me: " you've never been to Russia have you?"
Custie: "actually...no.."

[ExoticEngineer]

"What makes you horny?"

"Your wallet."

"Do you want me to rub you with it?"

Last night...

"You'd be pretty hot if your hair was black. Go dye it."

Riiiiiiiiiight, I'm gonna go dye my pretty shimmery blonde hair in the middle of a work shift so I can appeal to the only guy in rural Montana who likes goth chicks. 'Scuse me, just a sec.

Oh yeah, the same guy said he'd be my "biggest fan" when I was onstage and didn't tip me a single dollar. Afterward I wandered by him again (it was slow) and said jokingly, "Hey, I was missing my fan club up there!" He said, "Hey, I was right here cheering you on! I just don't sit at the tip rail because I don't like spending money on strippers."

Oh, and the same guy before I went onstage said, "Good luck. I'd be nervous as hell if I was you." Gee, thanks for the encouragement. Douchebag.

[xxambyrrxx]

custie: So what happens in a lap dance? I've never had one.
me: Well you get to have this beautiful half-naked girl lavishing you with attention.
custie: What if I want to holler out?
me: Umm pardon?
custie: You know holler out...
me: Umm no I don't understand what you mean...
custie: I mean like when I cum... I get to jerk off when I'm watching you right?
me: Uhhh No. I think I'm up next on stage... *runs away*

[fifi]

*after going back to the private dance area and starting to take my top of*

custie: There's something in your ass!
me: uh...excuse me?
custie: I said, there's something in your ass
me (bewildered): uh...you mean this? *tugging on g-string*
custie: yeah!
Me: yeah...it's a thong...that's where it goes.

[ExoticEngineer]

During a three girl show on the bar guy says to me
"I'll give you 5 bucks to fart in that girls face right now!"

[Andygirl]

Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer

During a three girl show on the bar guy says to me
"I'll give you 5 bucks to fart in that girls face right now!"

Lol, you have to admire his sense of humor.

[dancinslifoxxx17]

Me:This'll be song 2
Guy:Well,I don't have that much money on me, but, I have a joint
Me:Sorry hun I don't dance for pot
Guy:But, it's a 20$ joint
Me:I'm sure it is
Guy:No really
Me:No really I don't dance for pot